"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
