so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
