NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
