i permit you to call me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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