If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
