I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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