we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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