U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
