she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
vagina is talking i cant
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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