Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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