see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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