is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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