piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize