She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I checked into jail on foursquare
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
