Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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