That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize