Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
