He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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