I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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