So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
