So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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