Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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