Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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