at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize