If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
