Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
