dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
