was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
