We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
