Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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