I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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