He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
