hotel room ftw
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
