xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
