well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
