so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
