But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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