You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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