you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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