I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
