hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize