She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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