I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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