No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
