I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
