I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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