the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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