Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize