I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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