Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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