The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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