Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
