Will you blow on my dice?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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