I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
