i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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