READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
