My brain says no but my pants say off.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize