don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
