It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
