I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize