Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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