were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
