Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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