I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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