My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
