why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
