He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
