i jhust puked up my retainher.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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