Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
COCAINE IS GR8
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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