the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
