I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
